No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
