i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
