I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
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