Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
