I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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