im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
