I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
