dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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