Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
