i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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