ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
