Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
i need some magic done to my vagina
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
