She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
