I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
