We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
