I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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