"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
