No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
