that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
