I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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