hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
