She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I am one with the molecules
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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