One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
