I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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