She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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