Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
