yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
