Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
