You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
