THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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