I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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