he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
be right there i have to get my cape
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
