TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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