love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
