i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
