Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
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