You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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