Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
