I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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