You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
