I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
