called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
