The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
