That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
This is not my ceiling
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
