the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
