so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
