CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
