true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
