There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
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