Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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