New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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