that's an acceptable place to lick
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
