Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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